I first met Kel Li about half a year ago through Nora during a lunch date. At that time, they were both colleagues. Nora introduced her to me as Nigel’s fiancée as I had met him (Nigel) during Nora’s engagement and eventually her wedding.
First impression of Kel Li?
“Boy, she talks fast”.
But that was fine for me, because I am what you would call a listener. I don’t talk much and I don’t really like starting a conversation.
But I do enjoy listening.
So Kel Li talks, and I listen. We complemented each other.
So we eventually started following each other on twitter (the first person to actually ask for my permission to follow) and eventually we started talking on Gtalk on a daily basis.
“She types fast too!“
Last month, Kel Li finally got a new job and it was within walking distance to me.
That could only mean one thing.
Now this is where the plot of the story thickens.
You see, there’s a Chinese restaurant in our area that we love going to. It’s what we called ‘Chap Fan’ or mixed rice. An assortment of Chinese dishes served like a buffet.
Now if you were to have lunch with Kel Li in these type of restaurants, there are a few things you have to keep in mind. That’s where I come in, here are a few tips that will come in handy:
1. Ask her if she really wants rice.
Kel Li will sometimes have cravings for noodles, but whenever we reach the restaurant, she’ll automatically go for the rice. Within seconds, she will realise that there’s that noodle dish she has been craving for, she will turn to you and frown.
“They got chee cheong fun.”
2. Insist if she really wants to have rice (Repeat step 1)
Better to be safe than sorry. However, there could be a chance that she will regret it even after insisting on having rice.
*Stares at her dish*
“Should have taken the chee cheong fun la”
3. If the both of you go for the same item, let her have it.
Once, the both of us went after the same piece of fried egg. She gave me the dirtiest look on her face and it was as if you were staring into the nine circles of Hell. All of your sins flash before your eyes and you hear screams in your head. My brain was literally screaming “LET HER HAVE IT! LET HER HAVE IT!”
Do not mess with the Kellster.
4. She must not have food of the same “texture“
No two servings on her plate must be of the same texture, for example steamed egg and tofu. Stop her before this happens or every conversation of hers ends like this:
“Same texture la this two… how to eat?”
5. No matter how hungry she is, make sure she doesn’t take too much food
Due to her ‘fun size’, her stomach is the size of a ‘happy meal’ and she won’t be able to finish her food.
“Cannot finish la”
With that in mind, you are now ready to have a nice Chap Fan lunch with Kel Li.
Please note that these are all just exaggerations of actual events; Kel Li is a joy to be with during lunches, so please don’t be put off by this post.
She does however have the look of the nine circles of Hell, please be warned.
To Kel Li, please don’t kill me.
Love you loads!